I ask your indulgence in advance.
I think it’s finally over. Meaning, I finally truly believe I am ‘over’ The Girl [first mentioned in this blog here and then more recently here.
Let me explain.
There was a time in the not too distant past when my world revolved around any sort of communication the two of us had. Even if it was an all too brief phone call, or a text message, or, on all too rare occasions, an actual visit. For a long while she was the fuel that ran my day. She probably never knew this, or at least she probably didn’t know the extent of how often her face and voice were in the center of my thoughts.
She was, and still is, an incredible woman. That fact will never change. She just no longer spins my world, or sends me running to the phone when the message notification buzzer sounds off. I can now go weeks, even months without ‘needing’ to text her, or hear from her. Had someone told me that would happen as recent as Summer 2009, I would have never dreamed it was possible.
But it is.
The Girl sent me a text the other day, out of the blue. She’s graduating in early December. And, if she happens to be reading this [which is highly unlikely, given her reaction to the only other piece of mine I know she’s read], I want to say sincerely that she has earned any and all success that comes her way. She went back to school four years ago and now, after many long nights and nervous days, she’s about to graduate. I mean it when I say that is an incredibly awesome feat and I am very proud of her, as I have always been.
I’m also proud of myself. This book is ‘finally..no, really’ closed for good. After many lessons learned and a few regrets, I’m happy to report that the bruised ego is healing and the wounds are beginning to scar over.
For all that it was, and all that it wasn’t, I learned a hell of a whole lot. And, since I’m in a good mood, I’ll close with a lyric that seems to sum up how I feel about all of it tonite: ‘I’m the greatest lover that you never had, [and for that] I’m just about glad.’
Thanks for reading this, and to a few of you, thanks for listening to me talk…and talk…and talk about The Girl through the years. It meant a lot at the time, and it still does.