No sooner did I mention that I had not seen any shows yet this year, then the calendar suddenly starts to fill up. The fun starts this week:

Thursday night [February 10] I will be returning to my high school to see an original production entitled “This Moves Me”

This play, so I have been told, focuses on music, so when I got a postcard mailer last week I was at the very least intrigued. I wasn’t sure I would be able to work out transportation, but things all came together and I am genuinely looking forward to what this original piece is all about, Plus, it gives another chance to see my friend and high school Drama teacher Baugher once again. So it should be a fun evening.

After that, on Friday nite I will be seeing the one and only David Allen Coe at The Hat Factory with Eddie. I just found out about this show last week, and after checking with the staff of the venue to make sure they have some sort of handicapped seating for this standing room only show, [they do], I bought tickets and I really can’t wait for a rowdy, loud good time.

On Saturday [February 12] I will be seeing Godspell. This is a play that Midlothian High performed the year after I graduated. I saw it then but don’t recall very much. I’ve heard some great things about the cast, plus seeing the show with some great people will make for a fun evening.

A bit further down the road: On May 15 I will be seeing The Flaming Lips here in town at The National. I saw them in 2007 at The NorVa and they were amazing. Truly they are one of the few bands on par with KISS when it comes to putting on a spectacle.I don’t know if tickets are still left, but if there are still some available, BUY ONE!! This is a show you do not want to miss! I read that for the band’s 05.19 show in Atlanta, they will be performing the entire ‘Soft Bulliten’ album. No news on if something similar will happen for the Richmond show, but it does promise to be F-U-N!!

Last week I bought two tickets to see Taylor Swift in Washington, DC August 3rd. She’s playing two shows [starting August 2nd] at Verizon Center. Both shows sold out within two hours and, I’ve read that there is talk of adding a third show for August 4th. Ticket prices are priced about one-third higher than they were for her tour last year, but that doesn’t matter. These tickets are still going so fast that most fans are forced to use StubHub to buy tickets at three and four times face value. On the one hand, I am happy that the presale password for her tickets is available for free when you join her email list, but on the other hand, I wish you could pay a bit more than face value to be guaranteed a good seat. That’s another discussion for another day.

So I will be busy this weekend, seeing some theatre and hearing some classic country tunes. Reviews will be posted soon.

Thanks for reading.
Barry

Hello. It’s been a while since I last wrote something here. That was in early December. After that came the mad rush that was ‘The Holidaze’ and then after that was the month of January, famously my profession’s busiest month of the year. So, most nights over the past month, I have arrived home from work tired and exhausted. hoping something on television could hold my interest for a bit, never even thinking about the energy required to write. I think that mood has passed though, and now I decided to post some musings on what has happened so far in 2011.

* On Sunday January 2, Eddie and I attended the Redskins season finale against the New York Giants. We had great upper level seats that gave you a full view of the field. As usual, the Skins found a way to lose a game that they could’ve won, but nonetheless, Eddie and I had a great time, despite the performance on the field and the fact that for the last hour of the game our limbs were complete blocks of ice/

I had a great time, and Eddie wants to do it again next season. We might, although I still believe that football is a game best watched on your couch with instant replay and a beverage in hand [that doesn’t cost eight dollars]. We’ll do it again, only next time, we’ll shoot for September/October instead of January.

* I don’t usually write here about work, but I want to take a second to state, for the record, that my boss is one of my favorite people, and that I truly admire and enjoy those whom I work with. This month has been crazy, as expected. The friends I work with help keep me sane and allow me to look forward to coming to work everyday to face whatever challenges may lay in wait.

*Keith Olbermann was fired by MSNBC. I’m still bummed about this and I really miss his show. I hope he lands somewhere soon.

* The Decemberists released a new album this month, ‘The King Is Dead’, and much to my dismay, it is currently number one on the Billboard Album Chart [The Top 200]. Congrats to them on a great album and on reaching #1! They are on tour right now, but so far no dates in Virginia. Hopefully when the weather warms up they add some more dates and I’ll go see them.

* Speaking of shows and tours, I haven’t seen any shows yet this year. Not really much out there that interests me at the moment. I am seeing both of Taylor Swift’s shows in Atlanta in July, and I plan on seeing one of her shows in DC n August, but I’ll write much more about that later. Eddie and I had talked about seeing Brad Paisley in Roanoke next month, but it’s on a weekday, and it is a long drive for one show so, that idea never really got past the talking stage. Anyway, when I start seeing shows, I’ll write about them here.

* One thing I have done several times this month is go to the movies, so here are some mini-reviews of what I have seen.

   True Grit — Saw this New Year’s Eve afternoon. Very enjoyable film. Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon get top billing, but the true star of this movie is Hailee Steinfeld, as Mattie Ross. I was thrilled when I read that she received an Oscar nom for her role. Much deserved. I’ll be rooting for her.

   The Fighter — Probably the most realistic depiction of boxing I’ve seen since Raging Bull. Christian Bale is a tour de force and is at times very tough to watch on screen. If you enjoy an underdog story without sap, this is a must see. Nicest surprise of this movie was seeing Melissa Leo [someone I enjoyed when I first saw her on the TV show ‘Homicide: Life on the Street’ in the early 1990s] be completely transformed into mom Alice Ward. Stellar cast and a fantastic story.

   The King’s Speech — OK, I am going out on a limb here and say that the cast and writers of this film will wear out a path between their Oscar seats and the podium come Oscar night. Colin Firth once again embodies a role so well that I forgot it was him onscreen. Some moviegoers are turned off by British films, and I really don’t know why. This film has no explosions, no violence, no sex, but what is does have is a great script, a cast of A-List actors and, like The Fighter, it’s a true story. A great film that I probably will see again before Oscar night, just because it is that good. Thanks to Dana and Annette for seeing this movie with me. The company helped make for a fantastic movie-going experience.

   Black Swan — Whereas the other movies I mentioned are truly no-brainers when it comes to Oscar nods, Black Swan is something different. It is a very intense psychotic thriller that you are either going to love and never forget [that’s how I feel] or you’re truly not going to understand and wonder aloud why this film is up for eight Oscars [that’s how the other eight people who were in the theatre when I saw the film felt, and their snickering and loud protests made their feelings no secret]. I was mesmerized by this disturbing portrayal by Natalie Portman of a dancer’s battle with her inner demons. Those of you who know me know that I have liked Mila Kunis since I saw her on That 70s Show, and in this film, she leaves no doubt that she is going to be a breakout movie star. Black Swan is definitely not for everyone, but if you enjoy thrillers where the line between reality and madness is blurred, this is an unforgettable film.

So that’s my 2011 so far. I’m looking forward to the Super Bowl, NASCAR and, above all Baseball Season. There will be more posts about those things in the weeks to come.

Thanks as always for reading.
Barry

Author’s Note: I originally told this story to a few friends in an email in November 1995 when The Beatles Anthology was airing on ABC Television. That email is nowhere to be found, so I decided to rewrite the tale here, with another fifteen years of nostalgia and hindsight.

In the summer of 1979, I was about to turn six years old. In my six year old world, there were a few very important things that my world focused on: First of course were my parents and brother Brian; second was the band KISS. Apart from food, the list pretty much stopped there. I discovered KISS two years before, and I listened to all of the KISS albums I had up to that point, almost on a daily basis.

Summers when I was young always involved my grandparents. My brother and I always spent a week with my father’s parents while my mom and dad went on a small vacation of their own. My dad’s parents, Bill and Ocie Hall were extremely active for seniors, so they took my brother [who was almost four in summer 1979] and my cousin Henry [two years older than me] on day trips to Yorktown, Jamestown and several trips to ‘The Mall’. They did that last bit because my hometown of Staunton, Va didn’t really have a mall yet, and I know Henry’s home city of Amelia didn’t have a mall in 1979. They may not have even had a mall in 1989 but I’m not sure.

So, we had a fun week every year with Grandma and Granddaddy Hall because we were almost always busy. So busy in fact that my brother and I didn’t really have time to fight one another, something we used to do often when jockeying for space and attention.

Not as routinely, but usually for at least a few days every summer, my brother and I would spend time with my mother’s parents, Ruby and Jon Vaden. Whereas my dad’s parents were active, at this point in their lives, my mom’s parents had become very sedentary. They had their routine, and it usually involved a very early dinner, and then the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite and that was followed by crime dramas. I remember Granddaddy Vaden liked Kojak, Columbo and the like.

What that meant for a soon to be six year old in a relatively large house with many bedrooms was that there was plenty of time to go exploring around the house, since my grandparents were going to be in the front room watching TV…and I knew even at that young age, that you did not dare interrupt Granddaddy Vaden while he was watching TV. Don’t misunderstand, I loved both sets of grandparents dearly, but since my mom’s parents were not nearly as active, it gave me an excuse to get into mischief.

One night that summer of 1979, I went upstairs in the house and went into what used to be my Aunt Dale’s bedroom when she was a child. It was the bedroom that was designated as mine during these summer visits, and, it was obvious that not much had changed since Dale used it as a bedroom. This is where I made a truly life-changing discovery.

Keep in mind that, wherever I went, if I was going to be spending the night, I took along my record player and several albums and 45s. That summer, I was listening to KISS’ latest record, Dynasty. I spent many hours listening and staring at this album cover:

While that record played in the background, I found a yellow round foot stool. Since it didn’t have a back, I couldn’t use it as a chair, even though I tried. Me being my normally clumsy self, I fell off the stool. I fell one way, the stool fell over on its side in the opposite direction. The fall didn’t scare me, I was more than used to falling. What did surprise me though was that, when the stool fell, I heard something rattling around inside. So. the obvious next move was to remove the top –even though I didn’t have anyone’s permission to do so–to see what was inside.

Waiting inside this nondescript foot stool were about seven or eight 45s by this band called The Beatles. I had no idea who the band was, I didn’t know the titles…all I knew was that in my hand was undiscovered music! The first single I picked up was ‘Twist And Shout / There’s A Place on the Tollie label. I put on ‘Twist and Shout’. I picked it, if I’m being honest, because it had ‘Shout’ in the title, like one of my favorite KISS songs, ‘Shout It Out Loud.’

As the needle dropped and the record spun, my world opened up, and my life changed forever.

I think I played Twist and Shout three or four times before turning the single over to listen to There’s A Place, which is still one of my favorites. Before I go any further, here’s a list of the singles that I found that evening. I think I have most of the A and B sides matched up right, but my memory may be wrong on some.

*Twist And Shout /There’s A Place
*Please Please Me/ From Me To You
*I Want To Hold Your Hand/I Saw Her Standing There
*Help!/I’m Down
*Ticket To Ride/Yes It Is
*We Can Work It Out/Day Tripper
*Ballad of John and Yoko/Old Brown Shoe

These 45s were in pretty good shape, considering when I found them, some had been in a foot stool for 15 years. All of them had some pops and crackles, but none skipped. The only record that was warped badly was ‘Ballad of John and Yoko’ and that was okay. I was too young to know what the lyrics were describing and it wasn’t as catchy on first listen as the songs I would later find out came to make up ‘Beatlemania’. Some of the records had the letters ‘DV’ in pencil on the label, circled. That let me know that these records were my aunt Dale’s, and she bought them when she was only just a few years older than I was at the moment I found them. Add to this the fact that, when I was all of three years old, she let me listen to her ‘Frampton Comes Alive’ and Steve Miller records and, it’s no wonder she’s always been the person I call ‘My Cool Aunt’, because as much as I love my other relatives, she really was the only older influence in my life that ‘got’ rock and roll, and I wanted to tap into that as much as possible. That understanding all came as I grew up. When I was that young though, she was just ‘cool’, and that needed no further explanation.

I played those records for the rest of my stay at grandma’s, and I think she was just happy to hear something besides KISS coming from my temporary bedroom. On my last morning there, as I was awaiting my parents’ arrival, I began packing up my record player and began stowing the Beatles 45s back in the foot stool. As I was doing this, grandma stuck her head in the bedroom and said, ‘You know those records you found? You can take them home if you want. All they’ve been doing is sitting there for years. You can have ’em.’

I couldn’t thank her fast enough. That small gesture remains one of the most important moments of my life, and one of the best ‘gifts’ anyone has ever bestowed upon me. I saw Granddaddy Vaden in the kitchen as I was getting ready to leave. I don’t remember him being very talkative, but as I sat at the kitchen table with him that morning he said simply, ‘I’m glad you like the records,’ and left it at that. I know that I saw him again during Christmas 1979, but that’s the last conversation that I have in my head. He died in April 1980.

When my parents arrived I couldn’t wait to tell them about this new group I discovered, and please be careful taking the records because none of them have sleeves and please don’t scratch them because they don’t skip…

By this age of almost six, I was already a drummer, having started on my mom’s kitchen pots and pans and by 1977 graduating to a paper drum kit. So, once Dad realized I was now into The Beatles, he called me Ringo for weeks. Once we got back home to Staunton that night, dad showed me a song book called ‘Meet The Beatles.’ It was a songbook for guitar and piano of The Beatles first US album, complete with pull out ‘info cards and pictures’ of the band, all still in tact and in near mint condition. Dad never used it because he played accordion and well, even he admitted that most of The Beatles stuff didn’t sound that good on accordion. He gave me the book later that summer. It’s still one of my prized possessions, and still in near mint condition.

I think for my birthday in September 1980, I got a vinyl copy of Rubber Soul [US Version]. Apart from that, The Beatles to me were still those six unwarped 45s, and, as singles go, that’s a pretty great foundation to begin discovering a band. I wasn’t really in a hurry to find out everything The Beatles did yet, I was happy with those songs and I loved those songs. I think my dad knew that as I got older, I would explore their music more in depth, but he didn’t force it on me. It was a great, wonderful time.

My morning ritual in elementary school involved my mom coming in my room to wake me up, and then setting out my clothes for the school day. As I lifted my head to start my day on the morning of December 9, mom said quietly ‘John Lennon was killed last night.’ It didn’t register at first, then she added, ‘of The Beatles.’

That’s when it felt like I had been slapped in the face.

I ran to my dresser and looked at the song book and pointed at his face on the songbook cover and asked ‘That one? He’s the one who…’ Mom nodded so I didn’t finish the sentence. I don’t remember crying at that moment, but I do remember just wondering why.

When I got to school, everything seemed normal and so I fell into my routine. When you’re in second grade, sometimes being able to forget is a nice attribute. It wasn’t until lunch time, when the second and third graders went to the cafeteria, that the morning’s news affected my school day. I remember seeing a teacher crying at her lunch table. I went up to her and without even saying hello I asked her, ‘Are you crying because of The Beatle who was killed last night?’ She looked up at me and said ‘Yes, how do you know about The Beatles?’ ‘I have some of there records and I like them,’ I said.

I’m sure that we said more to each other, but that’s what I still remember. I remember feeling very grown up because I was one of the few who knew why most of the grown ups in my world were upset that day. It’s a feeling I’ve never forgotten.

It’s been thirty years since that day. That’s hard to believe. Since that day, I’ve lost all my grandparents and my father. But there’s something about that day, December 8, every year, that still feels like a slap in the face and, for a moment, I’m still that kid walking around the lunch room. Maybe it’s because I was so young when it happened. I mean, the previous April I had been to my Granddaddy Vaden’s funeral, but that loss didn’t resonate with me simply because I was not old enough to ‘get to know’ my grandfather as more than just the man in the easy chair watching Kojak. But with John Lennon, I had heard his voice on record every day for fifteen months. I never knew him as a person, and I would always have the records, but the fact that he was now suddenly gone…that was probably my first lesson that not only old people die. Anyone can die, at any time.

I’ve seen the movies, read the books and of course bought all the records, so now I know a lot about John Lennon. On this anniversary, I will play his music, remember my grandparents, and remember the sheer euphoria of hearing that opening riff and Lennon’s “Well shake it up baby now…’ for the first time.

Very few moments in life will ever top that.

 In the summer of 1994, my mother and her family were going through my grandmother’s estate. Aunt Dale and I were up in the bedroom where she used to sleep as a child, and where I discovered The Beatles through her 45s. She said out loud to no one as we were going through some boxes in a closet, ‘Ya know, that foot stool over there…there used to be some records in there. I wonder whatever happened to them.’

‘I have no idea Aunt Dale, I wish I did.’

Thanks for reading, and special thanks to Aunt Dale. I still have your records…and you can’t have ’em back! 😉

‘There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed…’

–Barry
12.07.10

I ask your indulgence in advance.

I think it’s finally over. Meaning, I finally truly believe I am ‘over’ The Girl [first mentioned in this blog here and then more recently here.

Let me explain.

There was a time in the not too distant past when my world revolved around any sort of communication the two of us had. Even if it was an all too brief phone call, or a text message, or, on all too rare occasions, an actual visit. For a long while she was the fuel that ran my day. She probably never knew this, or at least she probably didn’t know the extent of how often her face and voice were in the center of my thoughts.

She was, and still is, an incredible woman. That fact will never change. She just no longer spins my world, or sends me running to the phone when the message notification buzzer sounds off. I can now go weeks, even months without ‘needing’ to text her, or hear from her. Had someone told me that would happen as recent as Summer 2009, I would have never dreamed it was possible.

But it is.

The Girl sent me a text the other day, out of the blue. She’s graduating in early December. And, if she happens to be reading this [which is highly unlikely, given her reaction to the only other piece of mine I know she’s read], I want to say sincerely that she has earned any and all success that comes her way. She went back to school four years ago and now, after many long nights and nervous days, she’s about to graduate. I mean it when I say that is an incredibly awesome feat and I am very proud of her, as I have always been.

I’m also proud of myself. This book is ‘finally..no, really’ closed for good. After many lessons learned and a few regrets, I’m happy to report that the bruised ego is healing and the wounds are beginning to scar over.

For all that it was, and all that it wasn’t, I learned a hell of a whole lot. And, since I’m in a good mood, I’ll close with a lyric that seems to sum up how I feel about all of it tonite: ‘I’m the greatest lover that you never had, [and for that] I’m just about glad.’

Thanks for reading this, and to a few of you, thanks for listening to me talk…and talk…and talk about The Girl through the years. It meant a lot at the time, and it still does.

–Barry

There are concerts and live shows…and then there are events! Once I heard in June that former Pink Floyd member Roger Waters would be touring the US with a production of the classic Pink Floyd album ‘The Wall’, I knew this was going to be an event, and I knew I had to see it. ‘The Wall’ found me in tenth grade [the album first and soon after the film] and, to this day it remains one of my top 10 albums of all time. It’s also really the only Pink Floyd album I can listen to and still enjoy. Nothing else in their catalog has stood the test of time for me or resonated with me like Waters’ semi-autobiographical story set to music.

As far as Pink Floyd fans go, I know of none more dedicated and rabid than my friend Eddie. As sure as I knew I had to see the show, I knew that if anyone was going to find a way to see this event, it was going to be Eddie.

When tickets went onsale, we soon realized we weren’t going to be able to afford floor seats, so we went with the upper concourse seats in the center. Most shows, this would be a ‘bad’ seat, but I guessed the production would be big enough to keep us interested despite the distance, and I was spot on.

As we found our seats at the front of our section, we were in fact dead center. Before us we saw the partially constructed ‘Wall’ and various ‘bricks’ strewn about the front of the stage. That’s when it hit me that we were going to see a production very close in spirit and execution to the legendary 1980-81 tour that Pink Floyd mounted to support ‘The Wall’ when it was first released. I looked over at Eddie, smiled and said, ‘This…is gonna be huge!’

The tickets said ‘8pm Prompt!’ so I had figured the lights would go down by 8:05 or so. Not so much. Finally, around 8:20, a voice came over the PA and advised against flash photography, warned of strobes and explosions [like the 18,000+ fans didn’t already know this show had explosions?], and then, while the houselights remained up, the sound of a TV changing channels was heard. Setting the mood for the insanity to come, bits of George Carlin’s ‘Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television’ and scenes from South Park played, along with other noise.

Eventually, the lights went down and then suddenly, their was a loud bang and the beginning of ‘In The Flesh’. When that opening song ended with a ‘plane crash’ into the stage amid more flames and explosions, I knew my hunch that this was going to be an event was not misplaced. As opening numbers go, it was one of the best concert moments I will ever have.

The brief backstory about how The Wall came to be is this: As Floyd became a stadium band in the 1970’s, Waters became disillusioned that some people were coming to see Floyd because the show was a party, and these people, in Roger’s eyes, didn’t care about the music or the band. He became alienated, though never as ‘out there’ as the lead character of The Wall. Add to that story line how the death of his father in World War II shaped Waters as a child, and you have the ingredients for an epic project of self-loathing and reawakening.

Not your average rock and roll show.

When Floyd toured in 1980-81, the band weren’t getting along and in some of the recordings that were later released of the live show, it sounds like Waters truly is having a breakdown on stage. I can say now that, 30 years later, after the death of band mates Richard Wright and Syd Barrett over the last five years, it seems that Waters is in a better frame of mind concerning the intensely personal material that The Wall covers.

Early in the show, much to my surprise, Roger actually spoke to the audience. I didn’t expect that at all, thinking he would ‘stay in character’ for the entire two-act show. Before performing ‘Mother’, he thanked the crowd and said he was pleased to ‘see some old people here’ who remembered the 1970s.

As each song was performed, more and more bricks were added to the wall. Another great ‘once in a lifetime concert moment’ was being part of the throng of voices screaming ‘We don’t need no education!’ at the top of my lungs. That moment alone was worth the price of an overpriced upper concourse ticket.

At the end of ‘Act One’ [or record one], the wall is completely built, so literally all you see is a pristine white wall on stage, nothing else. Seeing the completed wall was quite impressive. Waters’ original plan when putting together the show in 1980 was to play the entire second act behind the completed wall, just to see how people would react to watching bricks. Thankfully, Gilmour and company talked Roger into ‘opening’ the wall, having sections of it drop away to reveal set pieces, such as a hotel room chair and lamp for ‘One of My Turns.’

The moment I will take away from the show though is actually a quote from a US President, Dwight Eisenhower. During one of my favorite moments of the show, ‘Bring the Boys Back Home’, while images of war victims flashed in quick succession on all parts of the wall, the following words were displayed, quickly yet slow enough to be able to comprehend and read what one was seeing amid the dizzying array of music, lights and spectacle: “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, represents, in the final analysis, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, who are cold and are not clothed.”

There have been rumors of lip-syncing on this tour, and I admit there are some pretty convincing YouTube videos out there to back up the rumor. Truth be told, the only moment where I thought something may be pre-recorded was during the finale, ‘The Trial.’ Waters literally has to voice four different characters, with very distinct accents with hardly any extra time to take a breath. Even if the moment was partially on tape, that doesn’t take away in the least from the spectacle of watching the wall come down at shows end, while the audience screamed ‘Tear down the wall!’

The performance was at times nostalgic and chilling (especially when Waters shouted ‘If I had my way, I’d have all of ya shot!! and sounded like he meant it), but above all it was uplifting. Maybe in the end, we’re all, at one time or another, banging our hearts against some mad bugger’s wall.

Thanks Eddie for a wonderful, once in a lifetime experience. I know this was a ‘Bucket List’ show for you, so I’m glad I got to see it with you.

And to the lovely Latina girl who grabbed my arm and held my gaze on the way out to the parking lot, ‘I bet you could!’

–Barry

I hate when I feel like this. No, wait…let me start again. I wish I didn’t feel like this. It’s a combination of things I know, that has me in this mood, and I swore I wasn’t gonna write about it. Then tonite I said I would just write it in longhand and condemn it to a drawer in my room. But then, something told me I had to write this down so that it would be read by someone else besides myself.

I really wasn’t going to write about this.

I find myself thinking about ‘her’ these days. And I really hate myself for that. I thought, no, I knew I was past this, over her, and done with all that ‘we’ were, and all that ‘we’ weren’t.

Now, don’t think for a second that this is really about ‘her,’ it’s not. It’s all about me, my head, my heart and…why can’t I get past this??

Part of it is because my job currently has become a true, real challenge. Some days are better than others. Some days are far too long, and almost all days leave me drained and exhausted. I like my job, love the people I work with and most days, I feel that at least something was accomplished. It’s just, when I come home after a ten hour work day, I wish I was coming home to someone who was mine. Someone who was my partner to lean on and  celebrate with.

Now, I don’t live alone, and I love my mom like no one else, but I’m feeling very single at the moment. Ninety-eight percent of the time, I love being single, and I am fine with that ‘relationship status’. But lately…I am yearning for that other piece of the puzzle.

Now, don’t think that this means I want ‘The Girl’ that currently crosses my mind more than I will ever admit to you in public. I don’t. In fact, if she showed up on my doorstep tomorrow and said she was ‘willing to give this thing a try’, I wouldn’t be interested. I waited long enough, too long really, and she never ever really wanted to go that route. After years — and I mean years — of waiting for her to come to her senses, I’m done hoping that will ever happen.

What sent me into this mood?

She forgot my birthday.

Now, let me say that on my birthday, I had no less than 60 messages on Facebook from friends wishing me a Happy Birthday and, those were amazing. You, my friends, are amazing and you made my day great and made me smile. In fact, when midnite passed and it was 12:01am and no longer my birthday, I told myself it was no big deal and no surprise that she forgot. And it wasn’t really. She’s done it before.

It just stung. Really really stung.

She has said in the past that she wants to be friends. And I think that’s part of the reason for my current mood. Even though part of me, even at my angriest, darkest times, will always love her, I know now for certain that I can’t be just friends with her. Every time I see her, those unrequited feelings will bubble up to the surface, and I will manage to ruin an otherwise nice visit with a cutting, sarcastic but true remark, doing a half hearted attempt to mask my pain with humor.

In my most self confident moments, the song that sums up my current feelings about her is Elvis Costello’s ‘I Hope Your Happy Now.’ If you don’t know it, find it and listen to the words. They all ring true, and sometimes they ring too close to home.

Tonight though, the song that replays on my ipod and in my head is ‘Wishing’ by Sugarland.

‘I’ve done everything I can to forget / If there is a way I ain’t found it yet / I keep tellin’ myself I’m movin’ on / But I’m stumblin’ / Believing my heart was strong enough / But now I’m wonderin’ / Wishing I didn’t love you anymore.’

But I do.

Thanks for indulging. Here’s to tomorrow.

–Barry
09.29.10

This was a note posted by me tonite on Facebook. Decided to repost here in case you are not already my FB friend.

The rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you’ve heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I’m interested in seeing what albums my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page. )

About my list: My boss tagged me in this note going around. This is being written late at night [or early in the morning, take your pick] so, that might color my choices. Songs/Albums are memories for me, so these choices are more about where I was when these albums found me than where they may rank on a ‘Best of’ list in a music publication. My own rule: An artist can only appear once.

1) KISS – Rock And Roll Over. The first LP I ever owned. Given as a birthday gift September 15, 1977. I turned four. I play this album in its entirity at least once a week. The cowbell in the intro of ‘Calling Dr. Love’ MADE me want to be a drummer. Maybe not their most known studio record [that’s probably Destroyer] but it’s the record that changed my life, literally forever. Plus…it ROCKS! I could write pages and pages about this album’s influence on my life, but I’ll spare you. My mom thought my KISS fandom would be a brief phase, like my temporary fascination with Legos. Thankfully, it wasn’t. Ten songs that I can’t imagine my life without; yes, even Peter Criss’ ‘Baby Driver’ even though I still don’t know what that song means. It doesn’t matter.

2) The Cure – Pornography. The album arrived in 1982, but I didn’t know it existed until 1991. The wailing guitars of ‘One Hundred Years’ with the opening lyical proclamation ‘Doesn’t matter if we all die!’ hit me square in the eyes. The rising tide of chaos and noise that concludes the title track had me wondering what the hell was going on…and it made me hit the repeat button to listen to the whole wonderful, dark project again and again. If you want one record that defines ‘Goth’ with no apologies, this is the one.

3) Stevie Wonder – Songs In The Key Of Life. Heard this record as a young kid and wondered who ‘Sir Duke’ was. Some of the songs may go on a bit too long, and ‘Contusion’ sounds painfully dated, but this record rejuvenates me whenever I hear it.

4) Simon and Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water. This was always being played in my house when I was very young. In fact, I learned how to read around the age of two by reading the lyrics printed on the back jacket. I love every song on this record, and this record always reminds me of my dad.

5) The Beatles – Rubber Soul. Pick just ONE Beatles record? Impossible really, but…if I had to pick one it would be this one. In My Life is lyrical perfection and You Won’t See Me is probably McCartney’s best bass track ever. Seriously, go back and listen to that song and listen to the bass, it’s unreal. And it’s not like the other songs [Nowhere Man, Girl and Michelle to name but three] are throwaways either.

6) Nat King Cole Live at The Sands. This was released by Capitol soon after Cole’s death. My mom bought a copy on vinyl because her father liked Nat King Cole. Somehow the record remained in the back of her collection for me to find one night in 1983. At the age of ten, this record was a revelation. A crooner wowing a Vegas crowd, back when ‘Vegas’ was VEGAS. No real hits on this record, but it’s an incredible intimate performance. The record was on CD for a minute in the mid-80s but was out of print for decades. I saw an auction for a sealed CD [in the now defunct longbox that CDs used to be packaged in] on eBay in 2000 and figured I would get it cheap. Well, I apparently was not the only one who wanted this out of print disc. I won the auction…paying $62 for it. Worth every penny. [The CD is now back in print, so you can get it much cheaper!] Highlights: ‘I Wish You Love’ and ‘Funny [Not Much]’

7) Elvis Costello & The Attractions – Armed Forces. Front to back, this album still sounds great. ‘Radio, Radio’, ‘Oliver’s Army’, ‘(What’s So Funny Bout) Peace Love and Understanding’…and those are just the songs you hear on the radio. Other songs like ‘Two Little Hitlers’, ‘Chemistry Class’ and ‘Goon Squad’ show Costello proving the pen is indeed mightier than the sword. Pick whatever label you like: Post punk, new wave…whatever, the songs are classic.

8) Green Day – American Idiot. I admit. I wrote Green Day off as relavent after that ‘Time Of Your Life’ song was featured in episodes of ER AND Seinfeld on the same night in 1999. In fact, my brother had to convince me to listen to American Idiot, and he played it while we were on a road trip. I was floored. I bought a copy for myself and I listened to it non stop for weeks. Huge in concept and scope but not without humor, this is one of my top five discs from the past decade.

9) Pink Floyd – The Wall. While we’re on the subject of concept albums, this remains, truthfully, the only Pink Floyd album I like and can listen to. Not as trippy as the Syd Barrett stuff, nor as jammy and drawn out as parts of Dark Side and Wish You Were Here, this album is almost required listening in high school. And that’s where it found me, my sophomore year, when I could identify with the isolation of the main character, even though I only wanted to identify with the Sex and Rock And Rol aspects of the album. I’d have to wait a while for that, but I go back to this album and, when I do, I’m fifteen and searching again.

10) Taylor Swift – Fearless. I’ve been listening to this one for over a year, almost on a daily basis. The pleading lyric of ‘You Belong With Me’ hit me when I first heard it. In fact, it hit so close to home that I felt compelled to find out what other songs Swift had written. Then, before I knew it, I was [and remain] an unabashed fan of her and her confessional-toned songs. I’m in my mid-30s, but when it comes to love, I sometimes still feel like a clumsy, gawky teenager. This CD is perfect for that mindset. Can’t wait to see what she does as she grows up, and I hope I’ll never become so jaded or cynical enough to not love this record and how it got me through a very dark time.

11) Barenaked Ladies – Maybe You Should Drive. This came out in the US on September 9, 1994. I remember because I was very ill in a hospital bed when I asked my dad to go to Plan 9 to buy it. Long story short, I was NPO in the hospital, which means I could not have anything by mouth. No food, water or even mouthwash. Music became my food and this CD was the one I played non-stop. ‘Jane’ is BNL’s best moment on record and my fave song by them. Hard to believe it’s been 16 years, but it still stands up very well today.

12) Wham! – Make It Big. I had this on cassette in 1984. When the cassette got destroyed by a tape deck in 1986 I was crushed. This was one of the first CDs I bought in 1987 and it’s been with me ever since. Careless Whisper is the masterpiece here, but songs like ‘Everything She Wants’ and ‘Like A Baby’ give you a preview of what George Michael’s solo career was going to be like…minus the car wrecks and men’s rooms busts. What exactly did Andrew Ridgely do in this band anyway?

13) Prince and The Revolution – Purple Rain. No filler on this one at all. I don’t care if it’s 1984, 2010 or 2525, the solo at the end of Let’s Go Crazy will always rock! Very radio friendly songs [title track and When Doves Cry] along side a ditty that led to the formation of the PMRC [Darling Nikki]. Prince was strange even at the height of his success, but this album’s greatness can’t be denied.

14) The Decemberists – Castaways and Cutouts. Released in 2002, this record became a mainstay in my CD player as I managed an indie rock band. Literate, intelligent lyrics with catchy pop melodies made this an instant favorite. It was their major label debut and the band has come a long way since then, but this is the disc I revisit the most. Highlights: Here I Dreamt I Was An Architecht’, ‘Grace Cathedral Hill’ and ‘July! July!’ Looking back, I think I’ve seen this band live more than any other…at least 20 times.

15) Monty Python’s Instant Record Collection. I found this ‘Best Of’ cassette at Peaches for $4.00 in 1987 soon after I moved to Richmond. Only knowing John Cleese from ‘Fawlty Towers’ I bought it because I saw his name. One listen through and I ran out to rent ‘Monty Python and The Holy Grail’ on VHS. This cassette led me to Monty Python and all of it’s wonderful absurdity. Through this four dollar tape, I discovered the movies and television show and, my life was never the same.

There’s my 15 albums. Tomorrow this list might be different.

Thanks for reading
Barry

First some background info: Last week [July 21 and 27] KISS brought their ‘Hottest Show On Earth’ tour to Virginia for shows in Bristow [just outside of DC] and Virginia Beach. I was very lucky and surprised to attend both shows when, for a while, it looked like I was not going to be able to attend either. It wasn’t long ago I gave up on KISS as a touring entity, due to a series of events. If you’d like to read about that first click here. It’s not required reading by any means, it just fleshes out my love/hate/mostly love relationship with this band.

Dates were announced in June and immediately, my friend Eddie [whom, if you’ve read this blog, you know has attended many shows with me in recent years] and I were making plans to attend at least one of the shows and, we had a second idea: Let’s bring along Eddie’s seven year old son Dylan! Dylan really likes KISS, at least he said he did. And he said on numerous occasions when he saw me wearing a KISShirt how cool he thought it would be to see a KISShow. Well, original plans to attend with Eddie and Dylan fell through, so, I found myself wanting to see at least one show with no ride to get to a venue.

That’s when I did something I really didn’t want to do. I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a ride to a KISShow from a Facebook friend [so it would at least be someone I knew] and I was willing to pay for the ticket since said friend would be providing transportation. I posted that during lunch while at work and, by the time my lunch hour was up, I had someone express interest. I must take a moment to thank Julian. Someone I’ve known for probably more than ten years, though I never knew he was a KISS fan. He wanted to see the band because, he said ‘this could be it.’ I had the exact same gut feeling, that this tour would be the last to feature both Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons in the lineup. I think one of them is going to decide to stop touring after this go round, with no big announcement or any hoopla, just quietly deciding to stop while they can.

Feeling like that, I began to really hope that something would happen that would allow Dylan to attend one of the shows because he’s a huge fan of Gene Simmons and, if this was Gene’s last tour and Dylan missed it, I think he would hate that. I felt this way but I made no mention of the show to Dylan’s mom Tucker and only mentioned the show on one other occasion to Eddie just to let him know that ‘great tickets were still available’ a week before the show.

Now, here is my cumulative review of both shows.

I attended the July 21 show in DC with Julian. It was his first KISShow. His favorite band is Gwar, so I knew he would at least appreciate what a spectacle he was about to see. I didn’t know how much KISS material he knew going in, but I wasn’t worried. I’ve taken friends and relatives to their first KISShow. Some know most of the songs, one friend knew next to nothing from the catalog save ‘Beth’ and ‘Rock And Roll All Nite’, and everyone I’ve attended a KISShow with says almost the exact same thing: ‘I’ve never seen anything like that…that was the best show I’ve ever seen!’

Julian and I arrived at the venue as the first of three openers was starting. We went to the merch booth and each bought a voucher that would allow us to purchase the audio from the evening’s show. KISS has made all audio from every show on this tour available for $25 per show. The recording is soundboard quality. You get the first ten songs after the show ends and then a few days later, go to a website and download the remaining songs from your show and add it to your digital library or burn the songs to disc. Great idea. It beats the bootleggers…and it made me wish this technology was available in the band’s 70’s heyday, or even the 1996-97 Reunion Tour. Ah, if only…

Our seats were about ten rows back in the section right behind the orchestra seating, so we had fantastic center stage views of the stage. Upon arrival to our section, Julian and I immediately struck up a conversation with Doug, a DC native who has spent the last eight years in Turkestan working for the US Embassy. He was in DC for a week and had two free nights. He knew he was going to see a concert of some sort but couldn’t believe it when he read that KISS were in town and tickets were still available.

KISS Fans. They really are like no one else. This is one of those settings where I am completely at ease, I feel I can talk to anyone and know that we have an immediate kinship. Some of us have 34+ years invested in this band, others are attending their first show with their parents. All of us love KISS [in this crowd, there is no ‘like’], so we are all brethren, friends and cohorts of a wonderfully shared experience. Yeah, you can find this kind of community in sports, but this is different. Those of us who have seen a show [or twenty] will look at someone there for the first time with a knowing grin and say ‘Just wait. You are in for a treat my friend,’ and leave it at that, letting them be surprised by the effects, explosions and music that make up a KISShow.

I sat there in my seat, between Julian and Doug, ready to take this in for perhaps the last time.

Two plus hours and twenty two songs later, exhausted and sore, the last chord rang out and the lights went up. The show was over [don’t worry I’ll get to specifics in a bit]. As I watched the show, I thought to myself, ‘Yeah, this is probably it. Enjoy it.’ Truth be told, I’ve said that to myself since the band’s ‘Farewell Tour’ which, ironically was ten years ago. As we left the venue, I said so long to Doug and wished him well as he planned to return to the middle east, and I reveled in hearing Julian exclaim that this was the best show he’d seen since Prince, maybe even better than His Purpleness…something that is a very high compliment indeed. On the ride home, I had it in my head that ‘that was my last KISShow’, and I was okay with that. It didn’t hit me or affect me that much, apart from the normal soreness and post-show blues I get following a KISShow. I was resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to see them the following Friday in Virginia Beach, and I was okay with that. Too many hassles with travel, tickets and trying to convince someone to go, so I was a bit relieved in a way. Plus, Taylor Swift’s new video was going to be on television Friday night, so I could watch that and enjoy it as a necessary distraction while two hours away, KISS played.

That’s how I thought I was going to spend my Friday. And then something happened.

On the Tuesday before the Virginia Beach show, I posted on Facebook the statement that I was gonna miss a KISShow in Va Beach and, yeah I’m bummed, but I’m over it. Then Dylan’s mom Tucker started to ask me questions: Are tickets still available? Could you get off work Friday afternoon? Can we pull this off as a surprise for Eddie and Dylan? And so, in the space of 24 hours, I went from lamenting my circumstances and the fact I don’t drive to trying to work out logistics and purchasing tickets for three.

By Thursday, the surprise was out of the bag, but excitement among Dylan and Eddie had reached a fever pitch. I’m still not fully sure what changed Tucker’s mind from ‘No’ to ‘Okay’ when it came to Dylan attending this show, but I was thrilled that things had worked out, mainly because Dylan would get a chance to see something unlike anything he’ll ever see again, and he’ll see it at a much younger age than I did. [I was supposed to see KISS in makeup in 1979 at age 5. Mom said no. I didn’t see KISS in makeup until 1996. Thankfully the Reunion Tour made up for one of my few regrets in life. I will always be grateful to the band for giving me that moment.]

Friday afternoon, Tucker meets me at work with Dylan and younger brother Bennett in tow. Dylan is all smiles with a star over his eye. We drive to meet Eddie at his office and, after pictures in the parking lot, the three of us, me, Dylan and Eddie, are off for a ‘boys night out’ filled with rock and roll.

We arrive at the venue, Eddie and Dylan both sporting ‘KISS Rock And Roll Over’ Vans shoes, which garner compliments immediately from fans as we exit the parking lot and make our way to the main concourse where the merch tables are. Here, we stood in line. For a long time. A very long time. Eddie bought Dylan a tour t-shirt, and I bought the audio as I had done at the previous show. We also bought earplugs for Dylan because we forgot them back at the house and, it was at my insistence and his mother’s as well that we made sure Dylan had the earplugs…in his ears…at all times.

It didn’t take much convincing. Once we found our seats, Dylan was holding his ears, so the plugs went in and did the trick for the rest of the night so that volume was a non-issue. As the last opener finished up, I think Dylan was a bit overwhelmed and unsure about what was gonna happen next. I put my arm around him and said ‘It’s okay Dylan. This is all like one big cartoon. It will be loud, but nothing’s gonna hurt you or burn you. I was nervous too at my first KISShow, and I still get a little nervous at each KISShow [that’s no lie either]. It’s okay. You’re gonna have fun.’

As Led Zeppelin’s ‘Immigrant Song’ came to an end, I counted off facing Eddie, ‘Three…two…one!’ and then the lights went out and a droning bass note echoed loudly, so loudly you could feel it in your chest. Dylan stood up on his chair while Eddie put his arm around him. ‘Ya ready to rock!’ he asked. Dylan nodded, but I don’t think he was sure yet.

After the intro I’ve heard thousands of times on record and in person, ‘You wanted the best, you got the best. The Hottest Band In The World…KISS!!!!’ the band opened with ‘Modern Day Delilah’, a decent song from their latest record, ‘Sonic Boom.’ Admirable, maybe. But, when you have a festival crowd ready to hear classics like ‘Duece’ or ‘Love Gun’, the opener was a genuine head-scratcher. Even so, the spectacle that accompanied the song was more than enough to let Dylan know what he was in for. Next was ‘Cold Gin’, a song written by Ace Frehley, who is no longer with the band. While this song was a staple of their live set for decades, I really wished they would’ve played something else. Dylan just kinda sat back and took it all in. You have to remember, there is so much to look at on a KISS stage that it really is hard to decide who or what to focus on.

Then, Gene Simmons did his fire trick, holding aloft a torch and spewing fire toward the sky. I didn’t even see it live. I was watching Dylan. The smile that came across his face as that happened, along with a look of ‘What just happened? What was that? Wow, that was cool!’ was priceless. After that moment I think Dylan was sold on the night and was really ready to have a good time. Save for a quick beverage run by his dad during ‘Black Diamond’, Dylan was really into the whole show. I spent most of the night watching him, and making sure he was okay and could see, and when I knew key moments were coming up, I would motion to Eddie and say ‘Ya might wanna stand up for this…’

Now the setlist, and then some notes:

1.Modern Day Delilah

2.Cold Gin

3.Let Me Go, Rock ‘N’ Roll

4.Firehouse

5.Say Yeah

6.Deuce

7.Crazy Crazy Nights

8.Calling Dr. Love

9.Shock Me  [sung by Tommy Thayer] / Guitar and Drum solo

10.I’m An Animal

11.100,000 Years

12.I Love It Loud 

13.Love Gun

14.Black Diamond [with a verse and chorus of ‘Whole Lotta Love’ sung by Paul solo]

15.Detroit Rock City

Encore:

16.Beth [sung by Eric Singer, done in the Unplugged arrangement]

17.Lick It Up  [with a bit of ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ during the solo]

18.Shout It Out Loud

19.I Was Made For Lovin’ You

20.God Gave Rock ‘n’ Roll to You II

21.Rock And Roll All Nite

The band did three songs from Sonic Boom. The biggest surprise was ‘I’m An Animal’ and, I admit after being ambivalent to the song on record, live it really crackled with an electricity that surprised me. It reminded me of ‘War Machine’ [from 1982]. Biggest surprise of the set was ‘Crazy Crazy Nights’, mainly because Paul Stanley has no business singing anything from this record. The record, recorded in 1987 is probably Paul’s best vocal moment in KISStory, but that was 23 years ago. Paul just can’t hit the notes anymore. Eric sang most of the song and he did a great job. It was just tough for me to watch Paul visibly struggling to hit notes he shouldn’t even try.

Eric sang Beth. I have no problem with that, really. In fact, that feat makes the trifecta complete: Every drummer for KISS [Peter Criss, Eric Carr, and Eric Singer] has sung Beth. The problem I had with the set was Tommy Thayer singing Ace’s signature tune, ‘Shock Me.’ He did a fine job, and part of me knows that fans expect to hear certain songs at a KISShow. I just wish this wasn’t one of them.

Dylan’s favorite songs are ‘I Was Made For Lovin’ You’ and ‘Rock And Roll All Nite’ so I was happy to already know that both songs were in the set. In fact, during ‘I Was Made For Lovin’ You’, Paul flew out into the crowd on his zip line and sang the song from a rotating mini-stage just a few rows away from us. Again, the look on Dylan’s face was worth everything.

But the best moment of the night was during ‘Shout It Out Loud’, when it all just kinda hit me at once that, yes this is probably my last KISShow. Enjoy it. Take it in. Cut it loose because there won’t be one tomorrow. So, during Shout It Out Loud, I went into my own world for a moment, remembering my first KISShow, the moments at KISShows that quite literally changed my life forever, the smiles, the goosebumps…and I raised my fist and screamed along with about eight thousand other ‘friends’. As the chorus was repeating and the song was coming to it’s loud, bombastic conclusion, I looked back at Eddie and Dylan. Dylan had a huge grin on his face…and his tongue was sticking out, arms extended ‘flashing the horns’ [Ronnie James Dio would’ve been proud!] When I looked over and saw that, no lie, I got choked up.

THAT’S what a KISShow is all about. If you’ve been, you know. If you haven’t…well then, you probably won’t understand.

Part of me hopes I am wrong and Gene and Paul and Company tour for a long time, but the realist in me is ready to say goodbye and feel good about it. To ALL of those who have attended KISShows with me, from 1988-2010, thank you for being part of some magic in my life. To Julian, thanks again for helping me see that show in DC and I am thrilled you had a great time. To Tucker and Eddie, thank you for…everything. And lastly, to Mister Dylan: You made the night unforgettable for me. I thank you for that. I hope you remember at least part of this show for a long time. And the true test of how great a KISShow is will come when you see your ‘next’ band…and then realize that not everyone blows stuff up!

‘That was AWESOME!!’ – Dylan Pickering, as he walked to the parking lot at the end of the night.

Yes it was Dylan, yes it was.

Thanks for reading,
Barry
09.01.10

Tuesday June 15th would have been my father’s seventieth birthday. He’s been gone since July 2001, but most days I still miss him. I would like to say that the date snuck up on me, but that’s not true. One of the things I’m great at is remembering dates. I know I graduated High School June 12, 1992; that I started my current job on September 17, 2006; that July 7, 1997 and March 7, 2009 were two of the best days of my life…and I always remember my dad’s birthday, even when sometimes I wish I didn’t.

My dad hated birthdays. He just saw it as another day on the calendar that he usually would spend at work if it was a weekday, or, if it was a weekend, he was much happier watching the NBC Game of the Week downstairs in the den than to be bothered with some big party.

The other thing I remember about his birthday is how he never really said he wanted anything, so I never knew what gift to get him. I honestly don’t remember a birthday gift I gave him, except maybe a card or two. Now, I’ve always been a great gift giver when it came to women I’ve known throughout my life, usually managing to surprise them with a grand gesture. And with my mom, she leaves no room for doubt, telling me exactly what she wants for her birthday, sometimes to the point of leaving an ad where I can see it so I know what I’m supposed to buy.

But with dad, he just would always say ‘It’s just a day, don’t worry about it.’

So this week is somewhat melancholy for me, with his 70th birthday and then Father’s Day. It’s not like my dad and I had an easy, uncomplicated relationship, far from it.

It’s strangely cruel how life works sometimes. When I moved out of the house we shared in Midlothian in 1996, I was ready to leave. I didn’t think about him or what he might be up to. Nothing really triggered a memory, but I knew in the back of my mind I could always phone him up if I needed to. I didn’t do that very often, until the last year of his life when the two of us made an uneasy peace and decided to forgive and move on. I’m so glad that when his life ended suddenly, we were on speaking terms, getting along, with plans to have dinner on what turned out to be two nights after he died. I was glad we had done our best to put the past behind us, or at least not let it drive a wedge between us any longer. The strangely cruel part of all this? Now that I can’t phone him up, a lot of things in my daily life trigger his memory.

I think my dad would find it deliciously ironic that I now work in an office in a 9-5 job where I am required to wear business attire, knowing how I told him all through my teens that I was gonna be a rock star and my stock wardrobe, literally for decades, was a pair of blue jeans and a KISS shirt. In fact when I got my hair cut to start the interview process for jobs back in 2006, I even said out loud to myself as I was leaving the barber shop, ‘Okay, you win dad…happy?’ I had let my hair grow long from the age of 18 until I was almost 33. He never really liked the long hair, but once I got into the music business and radio, he understood and respected why I did what I did, and why I looked the way I looked.

I also think of him whenever I watch baseball. That sport, and the endless statistics that accompany it, were his true passion. I was at work last month when the Braves were down 9-3 to the Reds, going to the bottom of the ninth inning. I was following the game on the MLB site with written out descriptions of play-by-play. Slowly, as I continued taking phone calls and doing my job, the Braves started mounting a rally. One run scored, then two…then they were only down three runs with the bases loaded and a bench player up at the plate.

The player’s name was Brooks Conrad, and he was only in the game to relieve Chipper Jones when manager Bobby Cox thought the game was a blow out, so he decided to rest some of his veteran players. Well, Brooks Conrad hit a game winning grand slam to beat the Reds 10-9. I got goose bumps just reading the description on my screen. Then I started shaking. It was a strange, overwhelming feeling. I quickly went on a break and made my way to the men’s room. Once I got there, I just started crying and shaking. It was a combination of an improbable comeback…and it was the first time when a baseball game made me wish really hard that I could phone my dad. I remember I was probably four years old when my dad told me ‘In this family, we like football and we root for the Redskins…but we love baseball and your team will be the Braves.’ I took it as gospel and, ever since, I have always been a Redskins fan and a Braves fan. That he instilled that devotion and love of sport in me, I am forever grateful.

Happy Birthday Dad,

Barry

06.15.10

As I have stated here before, I have known Eddie Pickering for over 20 years…more than half our lives. Had someone told me even ten years ago that I would attend a NASCAR race in person, I would have laughed in their face and written the comment off as insanity. However, had someone said even five years ago that I would own a Buck Owens box set and have a ‘favorite country music’ themed playlist on my iPod that totals more than 200 songs, again that would have seemed impossible not so long ago.

Well, things change.

I just kind of fell into attending NASCAR races with Eddie. In the summer of 2008, Eddie’s wife Tucker gave birth to their second child and she doubted very much that she would be able to attend the race in September that they had tickets for. She also told Eddie there was ‘no chance’ he would be able to attend a race without her. Knowing she had said this, I told Eddie one night, ‘Well, if Tucker can’t go, and she says you can attend if I take her ticket, then I would be honored to see a race with you and find out what this thing is all about.’ I said that because I was truly interested in the phenomenon, but also knowing there was little possibility of Tucker giving the go ahead for her husband to see a race without her — something neither had done in the then almost ten years they had been married.

To my surprise, Tucker said Eddie and I could go. Only thing, that weekend a tropical storm blew through town, so a scheduled night race got rained out and turned into a Sunday afternoon race. Eddie and I went, and I had fun. But, I was very ill at the time and was nowhere near 100% healthy, maybe not even 60%. However, the overwhelming feeling I came away with that day was the wonderful sense of community that race fans have. I was floored by it actually. And, as Eddie dropped me off at home after that first race 18 months ago, I couldn’t wait to get back to be part of it again.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, 2009 was a no-go for us. So, this past weekend marked Eddie’s, and my return to Richmond International Raceway for the wonder that is Race Day. The kicker this time was, instead of just the two of us, also part of the ‘crew’ was Tucker and Eddie’s mom, Carolyn. Eddie’s parents truly are family to me. Every time I talk to Eddie, I always ask about them, but I hadn’t seen them in years.

So, now a recap of ‘Race Day 2010 — Pickering style

The fun actually began Friday night as Eddie dropped by to pick me up around seven o’clock. We had planned to have dinner at his house and then, later in the evening, drop me off at his parents’ house to crash for the night, then Eddie and Tucker would bring the family van by the house to pick Carolyn and me up. Plus, staying overnight at their house gave me a chance to catch up with Eddie’s dad, Al; someone I always love spending time with. Though he’s had some ‘health events’ the last few years, I am happy to report that Al still has his twisted, bawdy sense of humor fully in tact. His job is selling insurance but his true calling is that of a master storyteller. Whether he was reciting stories from when he first met me, or trying to tell me stories that were ‘half truths’ at best, it truly was a joy to see him again before sleep pulled me away.

After pizza at Eddie and Tuck’s, I went to Al and Carolyn’s and eventually fell asleep just after midnite. Carolyn had said she would be up at 4:30 to fry sausage for biscuits to take to the track. I fully expected my nose to wake me around 4:45, but surprisingly, I slept until 6.

Coffee downstairs while Carolyn checks, double checks and triple checks her mental list of food and supplies that will need to be transferred to the van once Eddie arrives around 7:15. Al wakes up a half hour before we leave, so we talk a bit more, compare smart phones [he said he liked my Taylor Swift wallpaper better than his background] and wait for Eddie.

Eddie arrives around 7:30 [life is never really on schedule when you have two kids at home, one, age seven, who wants to go to the race and one, about to turn two,who just wants mommy.] Eddie, Tucker and Carolyn load the van with the precision of a military strike and, after a quick stop to get ice for the three coolers of food, we’re race track bound.

Over the next hour, we get to the track, find a handicapped parking spot, set up ‘camp’, put up the tent and slowly unload the breakfast food. I then noticed that the gas grill that was going to cook our dinner that evening was still ‘new in box’ and, as yet unassembled. While Tucker, Carolyn and I ate the aforementioned sausage biscuits, Eddie ventured to assemble the grill.

The grill came with instructions that were 90% art/drawings and 10% written. That would have driven me crazy. I am a linear thinker and need to see it ‘written out’ as opposed to ‘drawn’ in order to make sense of it. Eddie enlisted Tuck and Carolyn for assistance in handing him the right pieces at the right time, and, after about an hour [or the time it took me to consume a biscuit and a large piece of homemade banana bread], the grill was assembled and ready for action. To his credit, if Eddie was frustrated, he didn’t show it, and he did a great job putting it together without the aid of a screwdriver. [Props to Tuck for advising to use a spoon as a screwdriver…it worked!]

The place we set up camp happened to be beside a group from Connecticut. They were Tony Stewart fans, and one was ‘a friend’ of Joey Legano who knew him personally. Both camps came to quick agreement that if Stewart didn’t win the race, we would be happy with ‘anyone but Jimmie Johnson’.

Around 10:30 or 11:00, we decided to head toward the numerous souvenir trailers, setup for each driver to sell merchandise. You want something with your favorite racer’s face on it? You’re gonna find it here. As I left my house Friday night, my mom said ‘Get me a Denny Hamlin polo shirt if they have ’em,’ so that was on my list. I also wanted to rent a scanner/headset so I could listen to in-car audio during the race, as well as look at the Tony Stewart merchandise since all I had was a Home Depot hat that I paid five bucks for when it was announced in 2008 he was forming his own team.

Walking around the concourse amid the hawkers and trailers, I was struck at how varied the age of the NASCAR fan now is. Years ago, this was strictly a southern sport for ‘good ol’ boys’, but now with races in Vegas, Michigan, California and Phoenix to name but a few, it’s well documented that NASCAR is now a nationwide sport [pun not intended, for those who get that joke]. The fans used to be predominantly young white males, but I saw entire families out at the track; two toddlers as young as maybe four, walking with dad, all three shirtless wearing grey shorts. I am not sure how NASCAR did it, but it has crossed over to appeal to women as well. And, speaking as a fan who always enjoys eye-candy, let me just say thank you and amen! 😉

In the hour or so we walked around, we managed to hit not one but two Tony Stewart trailers, and Eddie bought an item at each. We rented the headset [I’m buying my own before September] and got mom her polo shirt. Later on that afternoon, Eddie and Tucker walked across the street to the merchants selling items cheaper than inside the track, to find some small souvenirs for the two boys. During that time, Carolyn and I talked at length for the first time in probably a decade. That was wonderful, and drove home the point that, yes we were there to watch a race, but above that was the chance to spend time with one another. The race is important, but it really isn’t the memory I’ll take away from the day. It’s that sense of  ‘community’ again, something I don’t think any other sport offers. Other sports, fans are usually trash talking or combative. And, at a baseball game, you only have two teams to focus on. At a race, anyone can find a common driver to root for and the common driver to root against. It makes for fast friends, even if your new friend is a Jeff Gordon fan.

Now a word about Carolyn. She knows me very well, and she remembers what I like. Years ago [1991 to be exact] Eddie and I stayed up all night at his house on a Thursday night while I ‘assisted’ him with a history paper that was due the next day. After we were done, around 5:00 in the morning, Eddie slept a bit on the couch while I stayed awake. I stayed awake by eating two huge pieces of a lemon strussell cake Carolyn had made. It tasted unreal. It may have been the adrenaline from being awake going on 24 hours, with another school day ahead before bed, but I couldn’t stop complimenting her on the cake. A few years later, when I was coming over to visit, she had looked for the same lemon cake only to find that it was no longer made. [Yes, sadly ironic that, of all the stuff she makes from scratch, it’s a box cake I remember. I blame the sleep deprivation.] Well, for the race day menu, since the lemon strussell was not an option, she made home made lemon pound cake. She also made a pan of brownies and two Ziploc bags of her fried chicken, which I again raved about after having it only one time in high school. Yes, we ate very well Saturday. That’s an understatement.

Everyone relaxed and almost snoozed as it neared four o’clock, which was when we said we had to start cooking dinner [more food!!] in order to make it to our seats by 6:15. We had steaks on the grill and twice baked potatoes. Again, we ate like kings, and Eddie got several requests from passers-by on how ‘they’ wanted ‘their’ steak cooked. If you’ve never been to a NASCAR race, tailgating and making a day of it, and bringing along your own food is the ONLY way to go. You’ll save a mint and the food will taste far better than what’s offered at the track.

Around six o’clock, we cleaned up, took down the tent, packed up the coolers and loaded the truck. Donning my new Tony Stewart racing shirt, I was ready for the night’s festivities.

After all this, we still had a race to watch!!

We made our way to the grandstands and ventured to find our seats. I knew we had seats high up for a better view. How high? There were thirty-four rows in our section. Our seats were in row thirty-three. I stood at the bottom of the staircase, which did not have a railing, requested Eddie’s help [‘just hang on to the right elbow please’] and, slowly, methodically, started the trek up the grandstand. Ten rows up, someone on the aisle said ‘You’re a rockstar, man!’ Seventeen more rows up, two-thirds the way there, someone said, ‘Almost there man.’ Standing at row thirty, someone said, ‘You’re close.’ Once Eddie and I found our row, I found my seat. I didn’t immediately stow my canes under my seat, as I usually do. I just sat there. I wasn’t really out of breath, but I was trying to collect myself, take in the view and convince my bladder that we were gonna be in this seat for the next four hours, so he better behave.

Pre-race festivities flew by, and before I knew it, the green flag was set to drop. I put on the headset and found the Motor Racing Network broadcast feed and was set.

Richmond International Raceway has truly become one of the best tracks on the circuit. They installed a new screen in the middle of the infield, but you don’t really watch that. What is very cool is below the screen is a new automated scoreboard that instantly reports position changes and laps completed. That was handy, not because I was watching Tony’s rise to the top ten [he had issues the whole race and finished in the lower twenties] but because I was checking on the status of Denny Hamlin, from Chesterfield, VA. His number eleven FedEx car was in the top ten most of the night, even at times breaking into the top five. But, the car of the night belonged to Kyle Busch. Busch drives for Joe Gibbs Racing. Now, I am a Redskins fan, so I love Joe Gibbs and all he stands for. That said, I ‘hate’ Kyle Busch. How much? So much so I was actually rooting for Jeff Gordon at the end of the race. That’s akin to me rooting for the Dallas Cowboys…it’s not supposed to happen!

The race had very few cautions, maybe six or seven. The last one though came with five laps remaining. Gordon had the lead, but Busch, who really dominated all night, quickly overtook him to lead the last three laps and take the checkered flag. Eddie said ‘Well, sometimes races suck.’ True, the driver we rooted for didn’t do well, but I still had a blast. Night racing is a sight to see, and to actually feel the stands shake as the cars rumble past at speeds well over 100 miles an hour, it was a rush.

I’ll end the recap with the phrase that I have been saying since I saw my first race in September 2008: Everyone, and I mean everyone, should attend a NASCAR event at least once in their life. It really is an unforgettable experience, especially if you’re lucky enough to spend the time with dear friends that are like family. Thanks to Eddie, Tucker and Carolyn for making the day great and for inducting me into your racing family. I hope health and finances allow us all to do this again for many years to come.

The NASCAR marketing line is ‘Everything else is just a game…’ That’s the absolute truth, and if you doubt that, then you haven’t been racing yet.

Thanks for reading,

Barry
05.03.10