My right arm…

First, let me say that the last three weeks of my life have completely changed everything, and turned my daily life upside down. In mid-June, I was a “approved” to move into an Atlanta apartment. Getting that news via email on June 18 made me giddy with excitement. I kept it a secret until I saw mom after work and then, the next morning, I told my boss I would be moving to Atlanta and I was officially giving my three week notice, which made today (July 6) my last day at Anthem.

Job wise, I am more than ready to move away from Anthem. The team I was part of has been under the gun for months and it’s plain to anyone who bothers to read the writing on the wall that in about six to eight months from now, things will be very different.

Frank Creasy is, hands down, the best, most honorable person I have ever worked for. He had “very mixed feelings” about my exit, but above all he was happy for me,  and it’s obvious to both of us that though the work relationship was ending, the friendship would endure. Once I made the commitment to plan my exit, I was excited, anxious and just ready to get on with it. I could wrap my head around leaving the job, that was easy. I could even fathom not seeing Frank every day; I mean, on some days when we were both n the office, Frank would be in meetings most of the day, so apart from a brief conversation and commiserating about inane processes, we wouldn’t interact that much on some days.

So, I could imagine not seeing Frank every day. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it.

No matter how excited I am for the future and moving to Atlanta, I have known for 17 days that one facet of this life-altering decision was going to be impossible. It was going to hurt and, to be blunt, it was going to suck. Hard.

Even though it happened about seven hours ago, I still can’t get my brain around the fact that I won’t see Beth deTreville every day. She was the one who kept me sane when it got crazy, made me laugh when I needed it, and most importantly, I knew that if she was there, then no matter what “surprises” awaited us, we were going to be okay, and we were going to get through it in tact.

Honestly, tonight I feel like I’ve lost my right arm and I now have to figure out how to cope.

Rationally, I know I will see Beth at least one more time, maybe more, before I move to Atlanta in August, and this feeling of profound loss will dissipate as I begin to fully focus on the move.  Emotionally, I know saying ‘Goodbye’ to Beth again in August won’t necessarily be easier, but it won’t hurt and shock my system as much as today. This afternoon the immediate reality hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.

I already know my summer will have a very happy ending, with me finally living where I’ve wanted to for a long time. Tonight though, I just really miss my friend.